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ninny pooooo

It's funny how you don't notice what people stole from you until you actually want to hear a certain song. You walk over to your CD's which are in alphabetical order & scratch your head.
Wtf. Oh well. I've heard the song enough to were I do not need to actually have the music playing to sing it.

Its the principal.

Speaking of potential thieves.

*le sigh*

If I try to tell you about spam.. I'm only trying to be helpful. Who knows who else your sending it to & how they might react. Take a midol.

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excellent my pretty


1 whole day has transformed me into a mega-bitch.
I'm pissed.

Do not fucking try & ask me to do anything with you.
I'm so aggravated I could cry.

"Hi. I'm your friend. You can tell me anything"

"Gee thanks. Blah blah swoon blah blah. Giggle."

"Oh. Well. You should totally bang him. & hurry up with it. By the way. Can I eat you out?"

I will fucking stab motherfuckers. Why am I surrounded by these type of assholes?

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Tmi. My last entry was tmiiii. & I'm sorry but its the truth. I felt it was needed. It is secure for that reason..

The usage of the term prude to describe me from the last 2 men I've dated.. Is enraging. Why have American women and men thrown romance out the window?

Numbers do not equal a set prize to sex. As I always proclaim, I can do it myself. Why would I forfeit & allow an unworthy piece of shit the thrill?

I'm not prude.. You must be used to dating loose whores.
I do not make people jump through hoops. Honesty & sincerity is all I ask. if you cannot remember small quirks about me.. What makes you think your worthy of sticking your penis in my vagina?

There seems to be an upgrade in lurkers via fb & twitter. I'm so over it.

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a vague attempt

Last night, my brother was telling me about a new age haunted house that is up North. In NYC, they make you sign a waiver.. In which you have no problem with the actors touching you.. Anyone that has attended a traditional haunted house knows the standard rules..

They sell out nightly.
I'm highly intrigued.

I fell asleep & awoke to an immensely, deep feeling.
My dreams. My mind.

How the series of events that lead up to this crowning moment. How easily I am convinced that I deserve this.. "award" for being so patient. It's my latest fantasy. My daydreams of it happening have materialized to arousal. One must create strategies or should I maintain its dormancy.

Sleep is no fun. You cannot enjoy it simultaneously. I want to enjoy things with you .

Today a customer gave me a fountain pen with two ink cartridges. If I dislike using the pen he asks that I return the gift for he may find use of it..

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sevas tra

The dreams! Ahh the dreams are beyond amazing. I have them almost every night..

One with Godzilla attacking "my" apartment complex & I am hanging with my sensei Tracy Morgan. He tells me to jump on the roof. Fuck that shit. Godzilla was being all.. "Rapture"/ runs through building/mosh mosh destroy.
I'm a g but I'm not a legendary retard.

Last nights time was completely awesomeee. I was hanging out with Seth Green. He was my boss.. I was wearing some odd clothes. He started to mistreat me & I threatened to sue. It was winter... it felt so real.

I also had this weird dream about birds. I was in this old house that was "mine". (It was almost as huge as Melinda Bennington's mansion in Chatham..)

But I had to hunt to capture birds, all exotic types. In my normal neighborhood.. My manager from work told me to lure them with these vitamins.. Haha it worked. I know this one is boring and if you're still reading! The next day at the bus stop..(real life) a bird pooped on my rft while I was reading it.

And this man was talking about his expired medicine eating his bones. I told him about how energy drinks really do that! & then he tells me about the weather control device that NASA has in space. FYI that's why Katrina happened. This guy was an o g conspiracy theoriest.

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no vampiro

Who was the last male you hung out with? Joey

What are you looking forward to the most? Finishing my peacock

Last person you cuddled with? Joey

What are you doing tomorrow? Work & then shit. I made promises with 3 different people. Bah!

Who's your last text from and what does it say? William : "playing a video game"

Last person you had a deep conversation with? Tons of people at Danny's birthday. I was a lil tipsy.

Are you afraid of the future? I welcome it. :)

How has this week been? Smooth.

Who were you last on the phone with? My dad calling about the progress of my car.

Who's your last missed call from? Mandee

Do you believe in true love? Yeah. its faithful as well as unconditional.

Do you have one best friend, or a lot of good friends?I have a couple best friends... and I'm also lucky to have a tremendous amount of really good friends

If you could have a plane ticket to anywhere right now, where would you go? I hope its round-trip haha but I would go to want to Chicago to be an extra in the new Nightmare on Elm Street movie

Has anyone ever given you jewelry on Christmas? Yups. The 1st thing I remember was a stylish Winnie the Pooh watch that had to be worth like $40 from my Aunt.

Do you count down the days till anything? Tons of stuff but mainly concerts.

Think back four months ago, were you single?
Hell yes I was. & I don't care to mingle. Most of guy "looking" are tools.

Who were you dating? No one steady. Maybe Alan.

What do you prefer skittles or starbursts?
Starbursts & I'm cliche`. I love the reds & pinks. They also have gummy filled starbursts. HollA.

How are you feeling right now?
Tired mixed with serenity.

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? I kinda hope not. :/

Were you happy when you woke up today? Why/Why not? yup. It was early enough to exercise & clean &&&& coz I kissed a boy & I liked it hahaha /punch

How do you feel about chocolate covered strawberries? Crown Candy exclusive

How do you vent anger?
I create fucked up master plans, tweet tweet, and turrets.

Do you believe every thing happens for a reason?

Think a lot before you sleep? Not really, I used to do that a lot when I was younger.

Do you believe that every one has a soul-mate?
I hope we have more than one. I lost mine. /cut
Haha. I know its emo but its honest.

When in your life have you been the happiest?
When Thom was alive. Well, when Thom & my mom were alive. It sucks I lost him 3 months after her.

What are you listening to right now? Well, The Weakerthans are in my cd player.

Have you ever fallen into a mud puddle? Haha too many times. Once I lost my shoes & considered them forfeit.

Do you like winter? Yes. Its my birthday & snow!

Are you in a band? I'm in a couple bands on rockstar :P

What color are your eyes?

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?
Depends on the driver & county hahaha fuck the police

Will you talk to someone on the phone tonight?
I hope no one calls me.

Was today a good day?
Hell yes but I'm tired.

Do you get mad easily?
No. But when I do, I woooo saaaa.

What woke you up this morning?
My internal clock.

Do you take compliments well?
I blush or giggle.

In the past week how many times have you cried? 3 for Lost characters, 3 times for dead loved ones. They are neck in neck to my heart! ;)

Last thing you ate? Papas Fritas. I tried to hold off.

When was the last time you were told you were cute?
Maybe this morning but I didn't want to take my headphones off. Jesus fuck don't hit on me EVER when I'm jamming. I almost cursed him out.

On average, what do you think you cry about the most? Lost characters dying or showing emotion. This show is my crack cocaine at the moment.

Do you prefer to take showers at night or in the morning? In the afternoon

If your last ex said they hate you, you say?
Don't hate, appreciate.

How did your day go yesterday? Jam packed.

Who was the last person you saw who wasn't family?
Juan gave me a ride home from work.

Think back to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them in your house?

Have you kissed the same person more than 20 times in 09?
Technically, yes.

Ever felt like you are not good enough?
Emo! I used to when I was in a horrible relationship. I'm soo over that. I'm soo self motivated now.

Do you think the last person you kissed cares for you?
I think he does.. even if he cares for one thing on me. Technically speaking again. Hahaha.

Has anyone upset you in the last week?
Illiterate customers that can't read.. I.e. The fucking menu

Do you miss anyone?
All the time.

Have you ever pierced someone?
I've pierced myself.

Did you ever waste too much time on someone?
Well, it wasn't wasted because I grew & learned things along the way.

Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? Yup

Does it make you uncomfortable when you receive a compliment?
Sometimes. I feel like I have to say something back.

Do you want your life to stay the way it is right
now forever?
Not forever but I'm happy with my self at this moment.

Anyone of the opposite sex been on your mind today?
Kinda x)

Have you ever fallen asleep with them?

Are you nice to everyone?

Last December, what was your love life like?

Who is someone you wish you could fix things with?
The "photo tech" lady at Walgreens. I went ape shit on her & talked to her like a mentally slow person one day.. I see her all the time. Awkward.

Did your parents spoil you as a child?
my mom did everything for us & got us whatever we wanted. She was the bestestssss

What did you do on New Years Eve?
Chimichungas! & Jo$h's bash

Do you like funny people or serious people?
Funny people are more my flava

Are you wearing any make up right now?
Smudged eyeliner maybe

What kind of shirt are you wearing, and where is it from?
I have a bikini top on & I think I got it 8 years ago from Fashion Bug hahaha before the Metallica concert

What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?
Dump his no good ass... but not before rimming the toilet with his toothbrush. That's kinda my thing ;)

Is there any emotion you're trying to avoid right now?

Ever kissed in the rain?

Have you ever walked in on people having sex?
Omg! Yes! Awkward & hilarious.

What does your hair look like right now?
Ponytail trainwreck

Are you dressed up today?
I'm dressed down since Saint Louis is a lavapit

If you could travel anywhere in the universe, where would you go?

Is a best friend/boyfriend/girlfriend or ex pissing you off at the moment?

Have you ever looked someone straight in the eyes and told them a lie?

What was the last thing your lips touched?
My face towel

If the last person you kissed tell you they hate you, you say?
I have those incriminating photos!

At one point in your life did you not wanna give up on someone?
Yes. My fighter. My mom.

Who's the last person you talked to in person?
Well, Juan dropped me off so it would be him.

Do you want to see someone?
Yes. Yes I do.

Are you in a good mood?
Its corny. Yupp

Could you forgive your best friend for sleeping with your bf/gf?
Fuck them lames

Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot?
8 months ago

Are your eyes the same color as your mom's or dad's?
Its a hybrid of the 2

Will you be in a relationship next month?
I hope not.


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wasted youth

Having tons of personal weird shit going on with myself & the realization that I am a magnet for strange happenings as well as people.

-I cook a lot.
-My SNES is fully hooked up & I play my Tetris Attack! almost daily.
- I record 70's & 80's punk rock off of KDHX.
- Miracle Grow works. You should see my flowers. However there aren't any flowers just yet...


Abby's birthday. 10+girls from work went to see The Thunder From Down Under at the Lumiere Casino. It was insane. One sat on my lap & another took Daphne on stage. Elevators broke so we had to hike in high heels. (My thighs feel killer today)

Danny's birthday party. Tons of fun. Laura! Being asked if my boobs were really like that or did I have a corset on? Then told I must have a corset on... Then this same fuck told me, "so I hear you & _______ were dating."

As to if its any of his business, "yeah, something like that... " to him proclaiming I was dating a boy, not a man ;)

This douchebag falls asleep & my friend, Amanda & I draw a penis entering his mouth.
We precede to draw all over him. I drew a monacle. Haha. Good times.


I need new tattoos & clothes.

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drive shaft

Almost dying..
I've become even more of a hermit.
Addiction to Lost, besides Jack & Charlie...

Mandee convinced me to go out. We got Taco Bell .. where I went off on the old man for getting snippy because he's ignorant with his 7th grade education.. We saw Dance Flick. I love the Wayans. Haha. Seriously.

We went out afterwards for dancing & karaoke. "Boyz in the hood" by NWA bitches.
Hottest guy in the place starts to talk to me & my cousin James shows up. Weird. They're related.. Uh... he's my cousins cousin. No thanks. Big confidence booster though. 60 lbs since May. Suck my left nut.

The realization that my 1st bf reminds me of Pauly Shore. Ew.

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This last week I have been experiencing the most intense anxiety. I haven't had this kind of hardship since he passed away.

I don't know what exactly triggered this episode but I am having trouble breathing when I think of the future.
Maybe its finals & all of my projects being due in a mere week.

I would love to just pack up & leave, forever, to the East Coast. I'm a realist & that's a joke right now. I need to finish college before I can take any extreme measures. Who wants to move with me? :)

Death Cab For Cutie's my medicine right now... I need to just breathe & relax. phew

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you're gonna need a body bag

Yesterday I sat for 5 hours while Amanda Pepper tattooed a beautiful peacock on me chest. We didn't finish but its almost complete.
I'm really happy with it... and it brings my total to 18 tattoos. Wow.

Suzi met me at Lemon Grass were I quickly ate my Sesame Tofu. I can't believe it had been so long since I've enjoyed that..

We headed to Pop's for the AP tour where we met up with Will, Mary, Duck (Lauren), her bf Chris, Jessica, Megan and her whole gang of 4 people including her funny brosef& Erin. Wow again. We mob deep. The grownups hung together while our underage friends danced around a lot .. Suzi & I acted a fool when 3OH!3 came on.

Chris called us the bruise brigade well.. Basically coz we keep it real.. People would constantly try & squeeze by me. I created this personal space bubble that I'd push people if they touched it.. I don't want to infect my peacock with gross stranger sweat.


After the show we talked to Nick Thompson to whom I will say is an awesome person. Hit the Lights is muh shit. California cows, cadbury bunnies... punchin sammiches.. And WARPED TOUR! .ahahah. I can't wait. John-o was a nice guy & Suzi got her noodle dance. High fives & creeper pictures.
Nate from 3OH!3 is NAT. No e. Just fyi &&&

Denny's picture memories. People need to get on our plane.

Now. We are deciding whether or not to go to KC's warped this year. This summer line up & the friends we have on tour is out of this world.
Holy fuck. One giant good time. I wonderr if Against Me! Is on it.. Hrmmm.

I'm confused about a lot of directions to take as of yesterday........ fuck it. And. I am hanging with some old guy friends Saturday. I'm stoked.

Don't get mad over words. If someone calls me babe.. Wow. I'm going to have to stop talking to you.

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Latest Month

October 2010

Mystery Girl

Not a day goes by I wanna disappear

Into her eyes a mother pearl

and my head feels dead with all this useless fighting

But my heart ain't dead cause it keeps on loving

The girl hit hard like a barracuda baby

She floated on air like a crest of wave

She was a primal institution, she was a danger to herself, yeah!

Mad loving by the cold hearted

take a deep breath babe cause we just started

"Go ahead and build a better a messiah, we can dig
another grave"

This is your calling

If you are hearing this, there is nothing I can do

Something has grown out of my chest.

I have seen it.

It is hard and cold.

It has been dormant for many years.

We are trying to save you, I have come to save you.

This is what you deserve,
this is what we deserve

This is something we have brought upon ourselves.

We are not a victim, you are not a victim.

We are not a victim, you are not a victim.

God will grovel before me.

God will crawl at my feet.

And the time is this

And the time is...

When you are suffering, know that I have betrayed you...

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